XemSai Smores
by Nocturnal-Ivy
Summary: Xigbar has asked Xemnas for an Organization vacation in the form of a camping trip, however, the Superior is strongly against the idea. But will the Organization's restless antics force him to change his mind? Slight XemnasSaix fluff.


There are certain things Xemnas had never imagined he'd have to say to a subordinate.

There were plenty of things he was forced to say on a regular basis however. Some of these included:

"Xigbar, the ability to walk on the ceiling does NOT give you sufficient right to drop dumbbells onto Number V's head, contrary to popular belief he can feel it."

"Number VIII will you _please_ cease attempting to set my hair on fire with your mind."

"No Larxene, I did _not_ design our symbol to appear phallic, nor will I allow you to rename our Organization 'Larxene and the 12 fags.' Now would you please retrieve Luxord from the Altar of Naught, he's been at the rum and I don't desire to witness him hanging from Memory's Skyscraper by his underwear, again."

Or perhaps his favourite yet, "No Number IX, my Heartless is _not_ hiding in your wardrobe waiting to eat your bunny slippers- why do you _have_ bunny slippers?!"

The majority of these were also accompanied by a palm to the face.

Yes, there were many strange things the Superior had been forced to say in order to keep his subordinates from creating utter havoc on every known world in the Multi-verse.

However, "No Number VII, I _will not_ eat that thing!" was not on the list.

Though that being said, Xemnas had never anticipated to be on a camping trip with the Organization, to 'boost morale' as Xaldin had put it. This had been phrased far more eloquently than Xigbar's "DUDE XEMNAS! We should like totally have a vacation! You can relax, we can get drunk and Saix, well, he can go play in the wild and maul something other than me!"

Naturally Xemnas had brutally shot down Xigbar's suggestion because he's a cruel and all-powerful git like that.

Though the all-powerful Nobody had retreated to his office in an attempt to figure out why his subordinates had requested such an idea.

The day had started out uneventfully with a meeting in the Round Room. Xemnas sighed. He had attempted to name the room "Where Nothing Gathers" but apparently even that was too much for the other members to comprehend. Clearly their intelligence only reached a point at which they realised the room was round.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Uurgh. What could Mansex _possibly_ have to talk about at _six in the morning?_?_"_

Roxas sniggered. Axel was _clearly_ not a morning person. His eyes were lidded and his prized spikes hung limply in a miserable fashion.

Stifling a yawn Roxas replied. "Dunno, must be important though."

The pair entered the Round Room to find the other members already waiting for them.

"Nice of you to join us Number VIII, Number XIII." Xemnas greeted without looking up from the papers in his hands.

"Hurry up and take your seats."

Roxas and Axel complied with begrudging looks towards Xemnas.

~*~

"He woke us at six to tell us about another swarm of Heartless in _Hollow Bastion?_ There's _always_ another swarm of Heartless in Hollow Bastion!_"_

The Pyro's ears were beginning to steam.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Axel, calm down."

"Yeah man, could be worse."

The pair turned to see a tall blond walking towards them. Roxas noted that the trademark mullhawk was in perfect condition.

"Hey Demyx." The smaller blond greeted. Axel was leaning against the wall trying to fall asleep.

"Hey Roxas. The Superior wants to see you in his office after breakfast." Roxas nodded.

"Oh and be careful what you call him this time, yeah?" Demyx smirked as Axel howled with laughter.

Roxas bristled. "Shut up Axel, it's not funny! The burns from his aerial blades still haven't healed." The boy subconsciously rubbed the scars on his rump.

This brought a fresh wave of laughter from the red head.

~*~

The group arrived in the dining hall to find they were the last, again.

The room was silent as everyone ate their breakfast.

Luxord glanced around the room. "Hey now everyone, why so glum?"

All the Brit received was heated glares. Or cool glares in Vexen's case.

"Okayyy. Anyone for a game of poker?" The Brit grinned happily at the word.

Demyx glared again and chucked a piece of toast at him, which Luxord ducked to avoid.

Peeking back over the edge of the table he asked. "Is that a no?"

The Brit failed to dodge Roxas' projectile. The table erupted in laughter as the toast peeled away, revealing Luxord glaring through a layer of raspberry jam.

Ignoring the daggers being glared into his soul, Roxas rose and left the room.

~*~

Axel and Demyx had retired to the living room after asking an already irritated Xaldin why he had a pair of rats glued to his face.

"I wonder what Xemmy wants Roxas for." Axel pondered out loud.

"Dunno, but I wouldn't want to be Roxas right now." Demyx replied.

The pair chuckled evilly.

"So Axel, wanna play Guitar Hero?"

"No Demyx."

"Why not?"

"Because you always win."

Demyx grinned. "Good point. How about MarioKart?"

"Ok, you are so going down!"

"Bring it on Sparky!"

~*~

After being sent to retrieve several books from the library that the Superior _naturally _couldn't leave his office to get i_himself_/i, Roxas trudged back to the living room.

"Hey guys!" Roxas called over the noise of the game.

"Hey Roxy. What did Mansex want?" Axel asked without looking at him.

"Don't call me that! It's Roxas! He wanted me to get him some books from the library." Roxas replied.

The other man only chuckled. Then he swore as he was defeated.

"Fuck! Not again!"

Dropping the controller he walked over to the blond boy. "What's with the books? You been to the library?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yes. I just told you! Weren't you listening to me?"

Demyx joined them. "No, he was too busy losing to me."

Demyx grinned. "So Flameboy, you wanna lose at something else?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"A sparring match."

"Alright. You're on! But be warned Mullet-boy, your hair may get singed." Axel grinned predatorily.

"Bring it Hothead!"

Axel shoved Demyx through a corridor of darkness before poking his head back through. "Any messages for Demyx before I barbecue him?"

Roxas grinned. "Yeah. I want my game back."

~*~

Vexen spun as the door to his lab burst open, revealing a breathless Roxas.

"Where's Axel? I heard- he and Demyx pissed off Saix- during their sparring match! And Saix mauled Axel again!"

Vexen blinked. "I bandaged Axel up an hour ago. He's probably off burning something or whatever he does to entertain himself."

Roxas blinked. Larxene had told him about Axel five minutes ago… damnit!

Vexen grinned. "I would recommend breathing if you want to live Roxas."

Roxas shot him his trademark Drop-Dead glare, to which Vexen merely smirked.

~*~

"Heh. I win again!" Luxord said smugly reaching over the table to collect his winnings.  
"I'm shocked." Lexaeus said sarcastically as he rose from the table.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"  
Xigbar looked up from his magazine, well, looked down seeing as he was sat on the ceiling. "3,2,1"  
Demyx ran into the room and hid under the coffee table.  
"Right on time." Xigbar muttered.  
A moment later, Saix appeared in the doorway. "Where is he?" He growled.  
"Who?" Xigbar asked in a voice that suggested he had no idea what Saix was talking about.  
"Demyx, you moron!"  
"Nope, not seen him." Xigbar grinned. He enjoyed seeing the berserker angry and now he was A-N-G-R-Y. His eyes were glowing yellow and his claymore appeared in his hand.  
Axel portalled into the room and took in the expressions of the people around him.  
"Um, this may seem a daft question but why is Demyx under the coffee table?" He asked. Saix ran to the table and brought his claymore down, just as Demyx scuttled out from under it. "Axel you-!" Demyx's screams and curses faded into the air as he tore from the room with Saix hot on his heels.  
Axel chuckled.  
Lexaeus turned to him, "You did that on purpose didn't you?"  
"Noooooooooooooo. Why would I ever do a thing like that?" He asked innocently.  
Lexaeus sighed. Everyone knew Axel did this kind of thing for kicks. He decided to go and help Zexion in the kitchen.

~*~

Xemnas' palm once again became acquainted with his forehead as he remembered the events of the passing day.

The realisation had forced Xemnas to present the idea of a vacation at the next meeting. Also, Xigbar's incessant pestering on the subject had helped him make that decision.

His hopes of it being written off as a bad idea were dashed as a majority vote of 8 to 3 had been reached.

Initially he had questioned why only 11 votes had been cast. His answer was given when he noticed the thrones of Numbers II and VII empty, a vivid red smear of blood trailing from the throne of number II, out of the room and along the hall, several duplicate claymores sticking from the walls at regular intervals.

As it was, the three members to vote against it were himself, Zexion for fear of being without his precious library and Lexaeus, purely because he could.

Everyone else had voted in agreement with the proposal and had given a reason, largely consisting of the idea that getting out of the castle would be nice.

Well, everyone aside from Luxord, who, still under the influence of _several_ large bottles of rum, had merely giggled and pointed at Xaldin's hair.

Sighing and resigning himself to the fact that he lived with a large collection of idiots and children, Xemnas dismissed the meeting, sinking in his throne and placing his face in his hands.

~*~

The following evening found Xemnas sulking on a tree stump glaring foully at the large bonfire around which the Organization were seated, either on rocks, tree stumps or blankets.

Demyx was singing and naturally, attempting to coerce the others into singing with him. The majority were ignoring him, aside from surprisingly, Lexaeus who reached over with a hand and whacked Demyx on the head, the man crumpling into unconsciousness.

Axel was staring, mesmerised, into the roaring, flickering flames of the campfire. As a bizarre change of routine, it was Roxas now desperately trying to catch Axel's attention. Granted that was an attempt to force the pyromaniac to concentrate on their game.

Luxord and Xigbar were singing pirate shanties and clutching half-empty bottles of rum. The ground around them was littered with several bottles of varying size and content, well, lack of content would be more accurate.

Xaldin was digging around in the cooler of food that he had brought, a bottle of sake lying against his left calf. Luxord's hand would creep towards it every so often, Xaldin would stab him in the hand with a lance and the intoxicated Brit would withdraw his hand and cry for a few minutes. Xigbar's singing would then stop his crying and he would try and steal Xaldin's sake again.

Lexaeus, Zexion and Larxene were all sitting reading, both Larxene and Zexion using Lexaeus as a furniture piece that they could lean against. Though the giant didn't seem to mind that much.

Vexen had vanished inside his tent several hours prior to this. The others hadn't paid much attention to this, thinking that the Academic was merely going to catch up on his sleep yet now, Xemnas was growing slightly concerned with the lilac smoke escaping the flap of the tent every so often.

Marluxia was bent over Demyx trying to revive the boy. His skills with plants had eventually led to an unrivalled knowledge of herbal remedies and thus appointed him the unofficial organization doctor; though often all that was needed was a potion or two. Xemnas sighed. Being Nobodies, Nothings, Non-existent _still_ hadn't spared them the weakness of illness. Sometimes it could irksome being purely the body and soul.

Xemnas looked to his left to account for the member he hadn't taken account of yet.

Saix was sat on a low rock to Xemnas' left, staring up at the clear, full moon of this world. Deep Jungle's moon obviously couldn't provide him as much power as Kingdom Hearts yet it was still sufficient to place him into one of his comatose trances.

A triumphant yell snapped Xemnas' attention back towards Demyx. The mullhawked Nobody had _somehow_ managed to force Xaldin aside so that he could rummage around in the cooler. He now held a large bag above his head in a triumphant fist and a box of wafer-like biscuits in his other hand. His face was wearing a goofy grin.

"Smores!"

Several Organization members seemed to light up at this, even Axel, who wrenched himself away from his beloved flames. Vexen himself, even emerged from his tent and joined them at the fire.

Within minutes, every Organization member was holding a stick and roasting small, pink blobs in the fire.

Once the small blobs had been deigned sufficiently roasted, they were then squashed between two of the wafer-like biscuits. These were apparently known as smores.

The Organization were happily munching/chewing away on these sticky, little treats.

Aside from Xemnas who was watching them with fascinated revulsion.

Saix noticed his expression.

"Superior. Do you not want a smore?"

"No Number VII, I most certainly do _not_ want a smore." Xemnas visibly shuddered.

"Do you not like them Superior?"

"I rather suspect that I don't."

"You've never tried them?!"

"No." Xemnas admitted.

"Then how can you know that you don't like them?"

"I simply know Number VII."

"Superior, try one." Saix held out a freshly squashed smore.

Xemnas wrinkled his nose as he watched the sticky pink glop drip from the sides of the biscuits.

Saix kept his hand out, offering the smore and carefully judging Xemnas' expression.

"Number VII, I do not want that."

Saix refused to yield and continued offering the smore.

"Number VII." Xemnas warned.

"Please just try it Superior."

"No Number VII, I _will not_ eat that thing!"

For a moment Xemnas could swear that he saw Saix pout.

However, a moment later, Saix shrugged and took a bite out of the smore himself.

Xemnas relaxed, sighing and closing his eyes.

A moment later his eyes flew open as he felt lips on his.

Saix was kissing him.

No, Saix wasn't kissing him, Saix was forcing something into his mo-

A SMORE!

Saix pulled away looking smug as Xemnas chewed and swallowed, the sweet, sticky, delicious-

'Damn you Saix.'


End file.
